Monday, October 16, 2006

Shitty Kitty - Chapter 1

My kittens are damned cute. I hate them. I'm not much of a cat guy, but i can't resist their tactical cuteness - taking the indirect path to my heart.

For example, the velociraptor attack - when they clench down on your hand and wrist with their teeth and front paws, while they attempt to gut your forearm by slicing at you repeatedly with razor sharp thrusting rear kicks. Most would be prone to taking swift action to prevent this behavior. I on the other hand, support and promote it. Who am i to stop a million years of instinct? Besides, rewarding their behavior with treats or simple petting will help me feel secure against possible intruders. After taking a look at my arms I know Kitty will fuckem up.

Or Kaga, this morning pushing her way into the restroom while i was relieving myself of a load. I saw her opening the door and didnt think much of it. I went back behind my magazine to fantasize over the centerfold. When i set down Miss October this is the view i had. Insert any number of "pussy" + "my underwear" jokes or puns here. It's too easy for me to make the effort.

More Shitty Kitty coming soon. Next time, Attack of the Sphincter.

1 comment:

David Blume said...

And you always carry a camera into the bathroom with you because...?