Chloe is in the paper today...

"Chloe, 29, promotes the hipper appeal of knitting just by showing up at Purlescence Yarns, the Sunnyvale store she opened in 2006 with two partners. Sporting a mohawk hairstyle and tattoos, Chloe describes herself as "the antithesis of the perceived image" of a knitter.

As a shop owner who's passionate about craftsmanship and fiber arts, she senses immediate acceptance by like-minded knitters and crocheters. That includes a steady stream of customers, said Chloe, from nearby companies including Yahoo, Google and Lockheed.

"Women who normally cross the street when they see me will come in to the store knowing I'm not here to hurt them," she said with a laugh."

Don't be shy...

...that's my job.

I keep running into people that say, "Hey man, I read your blog."

Well, please do me a favor, and stroke my ego. You don't even need lube! Just leave a comment when you find something interesting here, and I'll be sure to find a dark corner and gloat.

Wompa One

I was going to write a brief review on a documentary I just watched about the short yet fulfilling life of Toulouse Lautrec.

Instead, I'll simply mention I signed up for a writing class to "make my email and report writing more stuffy and officious," and post for you some answers from a short preparation survey they provided. This is all real, unless otherwise denoted.

(x) test plans, (x) status updates and reports, (x) software documentation... (x) Blah Blah Blah corporate BS and on and on

Describe the content of your usual writing:

A majority of my writing is based around intra-company communication, usually including the checked examples above. I am also the Beta Test Coordinator, so I frequently write to a contingent of roughly 60 external consumers via email, as well as in a private company web forum. In some cases I direct a larger group, at times reaching an audience of a few hundred testers and thousands of general readers in a public forum.

What do you consider your writing strengths?

I can be concise when warranted.

I can also elaborate at length, describing difficult concepts in simple, expressive and accessible vernacular, often using colorful analogies. Imagine “The Intricacies of Software Test and Beta Coordination, by Playschool”.

Weaknesses?

Grammar, and speling,

I often have difficulty assessing any given audience, resulting in either sterile jargon, or excessively gilded rhetoric.

I take too long. This is not to say I’m a slow typist; I simply have difficulty hitting “send” without re-reading for mistakes or otherwise.

I have no formal training in composition.

What would you like to see covered in this workshop?

I’m hoping there may also be “tricks of the trade” for business writing of which I’m not aware. I’d love to slip an evilly subversive, yet overtly telling diatribe to execs, without being detected. This would simply be for my own personal satisfaction. Unfortunately there's not much reason for me to write to a tie-guy outside of the building. The people with whom, and for whom i work directly are rad, so it'll not be likely i get that opportunity to jab at the big wigs living in excess on the next coast.

Ultimately, I’m looking forward to learning all that I can. Which is likely going to be where i can find the closest Taqueria.

I'm not one to tell someone how to vote...

...well, not anymore, anyway.

so, don't take this as some soapbox where my big assed self can get bigger and louder than i already am. Just watch it, and take from it what you will. (and don't say, "Pauline's hair", because I've got dibs).

In the end, I trust you'll all decide how you best see fit for yourself and your families. Personally, I think I won't want to move to Canada anymore, in any election result this time around.

(Yet, another post with an internet video. Watch it.)

Lump and Peaches

I wanted to take this small opportunity to thank two very special people. I've thanked many things in my lifetime, whether that be with a simple exchange of words to that unknown entity when a little something goes right for me, to that monumental "thank you" when my wife said "yes".

Tomorrow is Valentines Day, and I would like to share some heartfelt sentiment with two very cool chicks. My wife, in this case, isn't one of them. (It's likely my sister would be the other chick if i said "two very cool chicks" in any given context. That a high standard. Trust me people, i don't use this rating lightly. OK, if we're one the page, jump on board and slalom with me down to the next paragraph.).

Mrs. Lump. Mrs. Peaches-Zepplin. (Their true identities have been altered to protect their, well... identities).

You, of course come with a huge contingent from each front so I also want them to know they should reach out and grab the periphery spray from this, but i want to make this a concerted effort to focus on you two.

You with me?

'Thanks.'

It hasn't been the best twelve months for us. Everything happened at once. People getting sick. People dying. Drama from unexpected places. Drama expected, yet unable to be displaced. You two have been rocks. You two have been family. Without you, we would not be sane.

And with that, Mrs. Lump and Mrs. Peaches, here are two music video in your tribute.



and

Best. Email. Address. EVAR.

It had been a long time since i received a spam from my buddy

fullback@bestmaidpickles.com

He wasn't selling pickles. Or maids.

Whoa... It smells like gasoline.

I've suddenly become very popular with the ladies. I don't know any of them... but the ARE awfully forward with their flirtation.

No Thanks, I'm Good

And thanks again, Epiphany.

Blame Canadia [sic]

OK then. You still alive?

Fill me in on the last two months, bud.

I want to know the old friends you've seen, and how they make you feel youthful, in an odd forty-something sort of way.

I want to hear about new karaoke friends and acquaintances (male or female) that have thrown themselves at you after your sensual rendition of "At a Medium Pace".

I want to hear about the (shudder) one that got away.

I want to hear about all the people you've fucked until they were raw, and while you were still in your flight back home.

How was the coffee on said flight?

I want to hear about how you miss the abundance of dunces* in this part of California.

I want to know about a country that (in parts) has banned the use of colored additives in margarine, making it look like Manteca de Quebec.

I want to hear from you that i was the only truly insane, thus forgivably (just bearably) sane person with whom you got to spend time.

Give it to me. I miss you. *We miss you.

I don't quite miss you yet, Dave. Don't make me get all Carly Simon on your ass.